I have many feelings that are hard to put into words
    
    
    There are several symbols I find myself coming back to again and again
    
    visuals and ideas that have personal significance to me
    
    it can be hard to convey my feelings when the only words i have to express them are through metaphors that only make sense to me
    
    at least, in the way that i mean them
    
    the moon
    
    the power line
    
    the radio announcer
    
    the angel
    
    the perpetual motion machine
    
    the cat in the box
    
    starvation
    
    invisibility
    
    him
    
    
    
    mazes
    
    most things anyone has an impression of
    
    they see the words and think,
    
    "oh, yes, this. i know this"
    
    but it isn't in the same way i know it
    
    
so there is inherently a sort of disconnect there
    
that makes it hard to really communicate my feelings
    
    after a certain point it just starts to feel pointless
    
like these thoughts are all falling on deaf ears
    
talking at length to someone only to realize that you are not even speaking the same language
    
someday i am certain i will be understood by the people i want to be heard by
    
until that happens,
    
all i can really do is keep writing.
    
if you want to be understood
    
the first thing you need
    
is someone who understands that there is a meaning there at all
    
and wants to learn exactly what it is.
    
just make sure it isn't the wrong person.
    
[december 9th, 2023 - back]